Christmas Jokes
                                 Illustration Of A Christmas Tree.png
Jokes from 101 Ho-Ho-Holiday Jokes book by H.N.Kowitt
* Can be found at for purchase (if available).

Why didn't the snowman perform in the Christmas pageant?
Answer:  He got cold feet!

How do you know if Santa Clause is in the house?
Answer:  You can sense his presents.

How do you get 9 elves to admire Santa?
Answer:  They look up to him.

Knock Knock...whose there...Yule...Yule who?  You'll be sorry if you eat all that fruit cake.

Knock Knock... whose there...Cheddar...Cheddar who?  You cheddar watch out, you cheddar not cry.

What did the snowflake say to the road?
Answer:  Let's stick together.

Why did the boy stop practicing the violin at Christmas?
Answer:  He stopped because his mother asked for peace on Earth.

How does Santa call his toys to bed?
Answer:  Time to hit the sack!

Did the blizzard damage your house?
Answer: No, everything turned out all white.

Why do you learn something at Christmas dinner?
Answer:  You learn something because there are several courses.

What do elves read?
Answer: Short stories

Why didn't the pig to to the Christmas party?
Answer: It wasn't in the mud.

What does Sir Lancelot recite on December 24th?
Answer:  Twas the Knight Before Christmas.

Did you hear about the Christmas shopper who'd buy anything marked down?  She came home with an elevator.

Knock, knock... who's there...good-byes...good-byes who... good buys at the mall before Christmas.

What does Santa do at football games?
Answer:  He gives a little Christmas Cheer.

What's Frosty the Snowman's favorite song?
Answer: There's No Business Like Snow Business.

What's a math teacher's favorite winter sport?
Answer:  Figure skating

What do you get when you sprinkle salt on Christmas cards?
Answer:  Seasoned greetings

How do you spell "cold" with two letters?
Answer: "I-C"

What does Santa use to help him walk?
Answer:  A candy cane

Who is the cleanest reindeer?
Answer:  Comet!

What do you call an old snowman?
Answer:  Water

What do you serve a frog on Christmas?
Answer: A cup of hot spider.

Why couldn't the snowball take a trip?
Answer: It wasn't packed yet.

How did the Christmas tree feel after the beaver left?
Answer: Gnawed so good.

What do snowmen like about cake?
Answer: The icing!